As soon as her belly started growing, Emese began preparing Maia for the arrival of her brother. We had read and heard many stories of jealousy and competition between siblings and wanted to prepare. So for months Maia had been caressing Emese's belly and kissing "the baby inside", talking to him sometimes. Every now and then Emese would receive a kick in it of course, but we never had the feeling Maia was aggressive or unhappy about the baby. But the question remained until Ivan actually showed up.
When I first took Maia to the hospital to meet Ivan, I told her on the way that the baby has "come out of Emese" and is waiting to see her. It was difficult to judge how much of this she understood. Their meeting was very cordial, Maia got very excited about the baby and wanted to caress him and touch him all the time - quite scary looking attempts, but well intentioned for sure. Then, to our surprise, she touched Emese's leftover belly and started talking and caressing it as she did before the birth. She did this again and again several times before Emese's explanations that the baby is "no longer inside" reached her mind. Even now, a week later, she keeps her old habit of caressing Emese's belly.
Emese had prepared a nice book with animal pictures which Maia received as a present from Ivan at their first meeting. She now refers to it as the book from Ivan, and really likes it.
There were some moments of jealousy - the first and most heated one when she saw me holding Ivan in my hands and talking to him. Maia then started crying and told Emese that I am "her father". Since then she seems to have accepted the explanation that I am also the father of Ivan, as Emese is his mother as well as hers.
But the predominant feeling she expresses for Ivan so far is adoration. She likes to hold him and caress him. She wants him to sleep in her room (as he sleeps in ours so far). When he starts crying she comes running to tell us. And on Monday morning, when Emese asked her who is her favourite friend in the nursery, instead of the usual subjects from her group, Maia quickly named Ivan.
Maia got really upset watching Ivan cry loudly while I was washing him the first evening at home. She actually pushed me angrily, shouting "No, no, no!", apparently telling me to stop terorising her brother.
I heard warnings from experienced parents that the real jealousy will arrive when Ivan starts reaching out for her toys. That may be true, but nothing prevents from starting to educate her that Ivan also has toys from this point on, so by the time he actually starts playing with them she would get used. Another strategy I am willing to try is make her feel like a responsible elder sister, who should take care of her little brother. She may gain some authority this way, but will also feel more comfortable allowing him to play. In any case, so far we have nothing to complain about.